


On The Block

by Yammy_kooki



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life, Vegeta is Bad at Feelings (Dragon Ball), i can't believe that's a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-29 02:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30149091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yammy_kooki/pseuds/Yammy_kooki
Summary: Vegeta was in his thirties, single and living a pretty average life.Except that he was a closeted gay man with an acquired set of preferences.So when someone who fits perfectly into his perfect boyfriend mold pops into his life, how will Vegeta be able to keep up his regular straight man facade?Especially with the addition of a rather flamboyant roommate who will stop at nothing to get him outed.𝗨𝗣𝗗𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗦 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬 𝗦𝗔𝗧
Relationships: Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 42





	1. Sup

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is Yammy!
> 
> SO! This would be my second fic in this fandom, and my first long series for db! I really wanted to write a feel good cliche romance comedy for these boys so here you go lol!
> 
> Also, to be clear, Frieza would be a very significant character in this fic so Frieza stans rise up✊
> 
> Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!

Vegeta was an ordinary man. He worked a 9 to 5 office job, he went to the gym twice a week, he lived in a slightly below average apartment near his workplace. 

And like all ordinary men reaching their thirties, Vegeta should want to get married. Get a proper house. Have children that will grow up and live even more comfortable lives than him. Then he'll eventually retire, die and become one with the Earth.

Except that he doesn't.

Vegeta can't have kids. His financial status was healthy enough to get a better place to live, but he didn't. 

There was just one part of him that wasn't "normal". 

Vegeta was gay.

Not only was he gay, he's so far in the closet that he might as well be the very embodiment of it.

To make things worst, he was a virgin. He had never been able to get it up with women for the reasons above, and never dared to hit on men also for the reasons above.

Thankfully, his relationship with his only parent, his father, was colder than the Arctic, so he never pestered Vegeta for grandkids. If the sun suddenly rose in the west and his father did actually cared about his affairs, Vegeta always had Tarble, his younger sibling, as a meat shield. Judging by his Facebook status, his life was so much more fruitful than his anyway. Vegeta remembered going for his wedding last year and months later he had a kid.

Vegeta didn't want a spectacular life. He didn't want a Prince charming to suddenly appear in front of him, he didn't want a magical dragon to materialise in thin air and grant him immortality. 

And he definitely did not want his sexuality to be outed to anyone.

Not that it's been a problem. For a long time in his life, he had never harboured sexual attraction to anyone, to the point where he had initially thought that he was asexual. Then he saw the captain of his highschool's rugby team and realised how awfully, terribly wrong he was.

Unfortunately, that was his first and only crush he had in 30 years and it was gone as soon as it came.

Vegeta just had a very specific, highly acquired taste. This was rich coming from a virgin, but he digress.

So here he was, Vegeta in his thirties, behind a desk and typing away at his computer. Every action he made felt routine, mechanical, but it allowed his mind to drift. 

Then, he hears a thud on the far right corner of his desk.

Vegeta looked up, and is greeted by a lazy fanged grin.

"Sup," Raditz greeted, resting his arm on the divider attached to his desk. "Got you coffee,"

Vegeta looked down, and saw a steaming cup of dark liquid. It smelled bitter, just the way he liked it.

"Thanks," Vegeta grunts, reaching out for it. 

Raditz grimaced when Vegeta sipped the drink. "I still don't get how you drink that crap,"

"You're not the one drinking it," Vegeta simply stated, placing the cup down and resuming his typing.

After a few seconds, Raditz still stuck to his desk, pursing his lips.

Vegeta stopped, then looked up at him with a quirked brow. "Can I...help you?"

Raditz rakes a hand in his ridiculously huge brown hair - _how it passed the company's dress code, Vegeta will never know_ \- then sighed. 

"Argh, fuck. It's always so awkward with you," he murmured, and Vegeta chose not to hear that. "So, my family's migrating into the city tomorrow, and I'm going to visit,"

Vegeta narrowed his eyes at him. "And you want me to...?"

"I'm inviting you to come," Raditz reluctantly offered. 

Vegeta widened his eyes. "Why me?" 

"Okay so," Raditz began. "My mom is asking me to invite my friends, and I know if I don't invite anyone she'll force me into meet and greets so I won't be some loner loser," 

Vegeta somehow felt personally attacked. "Don't you have that huge group of people you go out with? Don't get the wrong idea Raditz. We talk, but I don't think of you as a friend,"

Raditz placed a hand on his chest. "Ouch. But yeah, ditto. You're a lame asshole, but that's exactly why I can only invite you. My friends are way too wild and bat shit crazy to introduce to my innocent mom so I need someone who at least looks and acts decent," 

Raditz then groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. "The moment I showed a pic of my parents to them, one of them wanted to fuck my dad,"

Vegeta pulled a disgusted expression, almost feeling sad for him. 

Raditz clapped his hands together. "So please! I'm begging here. We just need to act like buddies for a few hours and that's it! We can imagine this never happened,"

Vegeta leaned his head on a hand, elbow perched on his desk. "So what's in it for me?"

Raditz looked up at him. "Huh?"

"What's in it for me? What exactly do I get out of this other than wasted time?"

Raditz looked stunned, before he frowned. "You are such a bastard,"

Vegeta shrugged. "I _am_ the only one you can bring, so if I don't do this, I lose nothing. It'll be entirely your loss,"

Raditz growled. "Ugh, fine. What do you want?"

"One week of buying me lunch," Vegeta says, and Raditz's jaw dropped. "Don't worry, I'm not some highschool bully. I'll pay you for it," 

Raditz relaxed at that. "Fine. Delivering lunch for a week is better than my mom's daily phone calls," 

Vegeta went back to his computer. "Then it's a deal. Are you texting me the details?"

"Yup. Don't fuck up okay, I don't want my mom to think I hang out with freaks," Raditz warned.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. Raditz had already admitted that he was friends with a homewrecker. 

"When have I ever fucked up?"

~

Vegeta was going to fuck up.

He realised a little too late that he had zero social experience, and had never dressed for a party before. He had just been so engrossed in poking at Raditz that he remembered that he also had a part to play in this.

Thanks to the internet, Vegeta at least knew how to dress casual. He wore a black dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up, along with a pair of beige slacks held up with a brown belt. He only had his wallet and phone with him.

He was waiting at the planned pick up point, and Vegeta checked his appearance for the umpteenth time in his phone. Dammit, should he have styled his hair? It naturally stood up and he's heard from distant gossip that it made him look scary. Wait, maybe the belt was a little too much, jeans would have been better, but wouldn't that have been way too casual?

Vegeta was so cooped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Raditz rolling up next to him in his car. 

A car honk snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Get in loser!" Raditz yelled at him. 

Vegeta flushed, looking around. Thankfully it was quite late, so not a lot of people were around. 

He marched to the passenger side and swung open the door.

"Did you have to do that?" Vegeta hissed. 

Raditz laughed. "If it means pissing you off, then hell yeah,"

He started driving off, and Vegeta pulled the seatbelt down. 

Raditz spared a glance at him. "You look pretty weird, not gonna lie,"

Immediately Vegeta broke out into an internal panic. Fuck, he was right. He looked way too formal. His hair was scary. He messed up. He needs the ground to open up and-

"Dude, I meant I've never seen you out of your work clothes before. Chill. You look like I just told you I killed your parents," Raditz chuckled. 

Vegeta shut his eyes, collapsing in his seat. The party hasn't even started and he's already exhausted. 

"You should've said that earlier," 

Raditz made a turn. "Not my fucking fault you're so socially inept," 

There was a moment of awkward silence, as Vegeta stared out the car window and Raditz tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

" _Sooo_ ," Raditz dragged. "Anything fun happened in your life lately?" 

"No," Vegeta sharply answered. 

Raditz sucked in a breath through his teeth. 

"Could've answered that myself," Raditz muttered. 

Thankfully, the destination was just a few blocks down. Vegeta looked to his left to see a quaint house with a bunch of opened cardboard boxes in the yard. A red 'For Sale' sign was still nailed at the front. 

"We're here~" Raditz sang, turning the car into the garage. Vegeta looked out the window to see a woman shifting boxes in. When she caught sight of Raditz's car, she placed down whatever she had in her hands and ran up to them.

Raditz exits, and Vegeta followed suit.

"Raditz!" She squealed jumping into Raditz's arms. She looked much smaller when Raditz practically enveloped her in a hug.

Vegeta leaned on the car and crossed his arms. Upon closer look, the woman looked awfully young. She had the same messy hair as Raditz, though it was pitch black and shorter. 

By natural deduction, that girl must be Raditz's younger sis-

"Ma, stop, you're embarrasing me!" 

Vegeta choked.

This gained the attention of both family members. The girl, Raditz's _mother_ , was set down and she turned to smile at Vegeta.

"You must be Raditz's friend! It's nice to meet you, I'm Gine, his mother," Gine walked over to reach out a hand.

Vegeta shook it. It was soft and small in his grip. "I'm Vegeta. We met at work,"

Gine gasped. "You two are coworkers? You have to tell me how Raditz is at work!"

Vegeta smirked. Raditz started to swipe a hand back and forth on his neck.

"He's splendid. Sometimes a little rowdy, but he gets his job done," Vegeta answered. Raditz shot him a look. 

Gine giggled. "My little Raditz is still just the same as always. Still such a child in a grownup's body," 

Raditz blushed. "Ma..."

Just then, the sound of the door creaking open pierced the air.

"Gine, so is that Raditz or just another annoying neighbour?" A gruff voice called.

"It's our baby boy, dear!" Gine hollered back.

The owner of the gruff voice exits the house, and Vegeta's eyes widened in shock.

Said man had messy black hair held up by a red bandana, with two more red sweat bands on his wrists. He wore rather roughed up jeans and sandals.

What really shocked Vegeta was the fact that he was shirtless, tanned skin gleaming under the evening light, and fucking ripped. 

Vegeta did not blame Raditz's friend for wanting a piece of that.

The man strolled over, hands shoved in his pockets. When he got closer Vegeta noticed a distinct scar in the shape of an 'X' on his right cheek. He also had a lollipop in his mouth which he occasionally rolled from side to side.

Vegeta raked his eyes down, definitely for observational purposes and noticed other discreet scars on his chest, his 6- _no_ 8 pack. There was sweat running down his entire body which really accentuated his-

"Honey! Put a shirt on!" Gine reprimanded, marching towards the man. She smacked him in the chest, and Vegeta wished he could as well.

The man winced, rubbing the back of his neck. "C'mon, it's fine isn't it? Besides, he's a guy," he looked to Vegeta with a quirked brow. "You don't mind right?"

" _No_ ," Vegeta says, his throat feeling dry.

Gine rolled her eyes, before lifting a hand at the man. "This is my husband, Bardock. Bardock, meet Vegeta,"

Bardock leaned down and gave his hand to Vegeta. Vegeta took it, and tried not to shudder at how rough and warm his hand was.

"Sup. I hope my brat hasn't been terrorising you," Bardock says. 

"Yeah," Vegeta replied dumbly.

Bardock stood up straight again, then grabbed the stick of his lolipop. "Don't mind this, I actually hate sweets. Gine thought it would be the best way to make me stop smoking, since I always need something to keep my mouth occupied,"

Vegeta struggled to suppress the million thoughts that accompanied the hidden undertones of that statement.

"Ba! I've missed you!" Raditz greeted, opening his arms to hug Bardock. Bardock reciprocates the gesture. 

"You say that, but you haven't called once since you moved out," Bardock retorted. 

" _Ba_ , I can't help it! You know I'm busy," Raditz whined.

Bardock scoffed, then pinched Raditz on the cheek. "You cheeky brat,"

Raditz grinned, before slapping Bardock on the shoulder. "Congrats on the new job by the way! I can't believe you managed to land one in the city,"

Vegeta remembered Raditz's text about why his family had moved from the countryside. His father had landed some job that Vegeta hadn't bothered to remember , but looking at him now, with his absurdly youthful looks he could be a model.

Bardock smirked. "Your old man still has his tricks," 

Gine stepped in between the two giants. "Alright alright, we can do some much needed bonding inside the house. It's hot out and it's rude to keep your friend outside!"

Raditz looked to Vegeta. "Ah right. There's food and drinks inside already, so you can help yourself," 

Vegeta nodded.

Bardock grinned slyly. "Is it really hot, or are you just happy to see me?" He flirted, arms coming to wrap around Gine. She squeaked, pushing against Bardock. "Oh stop it you! Aren't you a little old for this?"

"With you? Never," Bardock says, before whisking Gine off her feet into a bridal carry.

"Oh Bardock! Stop it!" Gine half exclaimed, half giggled as he carried her inside.

Raditz dragged a hand down his face. "Just ignore them, they're always this gross," he groaned.

Vegeta felt a little sour. Raditz's mom really scored with him. "I don't mind,"

Raditz smiled. "Cool. Wanna come in now?"

Vegeta nodded, and the two went inside.

~

Vegeta sat on the couch, a cold drink in hand as he stared at his surroundings.

The walls of the house was pure white and filled with opened boxes. There was stairs leading up to the second level, which was most likely where the bedrooms were. Right now, absolutely nothing was set up besides the couch and the kitchen.

Raditz sat next to him, hands typing away at his phone. 

Soon, Bardock came down the stairs, shrugging on a white singlet and Gine came from the kitchen with pastries on a tray.

She placed it on the couch between Vegeta and Raditz. "Sorry, we have yet to get the house ready. Here, I made some pastries!"

Vegeta looked at it. They were mini strawberry tarts and seemed professionally made.

Raditz beamed, immediately grabbing one and popping it in his mouth. He moaned, one hand pressing against his cheek. 

"These are great ma!" He says, grabbing a few more.

"Leave some for Vegeta!" Gine scolded, smacking Raditz's hand. She pushed the tray to Vegeta. 

"Would you like some?"

Vegeta hummed, before grabbing a piece. He hesitantly bit down on it, only to feel a burst of flavour course through his mouth.

"This is good," Vegeta comments, eating the rest of it.

Gine giggled. "Why thank you,"

Bardock leaned over from the back of the couch and grabbed a handful of tarts and gobbled it. Gine shot him an exasperated look.

"Bardock! You animal!" Gine exclaimed.

"Heesh are againg ash alays," Bardock says with his mouthful. 

Gine frowned. "Don't be so rude!"

Bardock swallowed, then leaned to peck Gine on the lips. "These are amazing as always. Thanks dear,"

Gine blushed, and Vegeta wanted to blush too. Raditz wanted to die.

Gine pouted. "So? Is our baby boy okay?"

Bardock looked up the stairs. "He says he still needs a few minutes. Jetlag,"

Gine sighed. "Oh that poor boy. I should make some honey lemon for him,"

With that, Gine picked up the empty tray and skipped off to the kitchen.

"While we wait for Kakarot," Bardock grunted, looping an arm around both Raditz and Vegeta's necks. "Why don't you two help us settle in, hm?"

Raditz groaned. "But ba, we just got here,"

"Well I just _flew here_ so no excuses! The faster we get this done the faster we can have pizzas,"

Raditz brightened at the idea. Bardock released them and Raditz immediately bounced up on his feet.

"Alright, where do we start?"

~

Vegeta had thought that 'visiting' meant a few greetings, questions, dinner, then they would leave. He did not expect to be sweating as he lifted box after box into a house. 

However, he didn't complain and decided to suck it up and do it. He's going to send Raditz to the furthest convenience store just to spite him for this.

Finally, the last box was in and both Raditz and Vegeta collapsed on the floor, panting in exhaustion.

Bardock was busy opening boxes with a box cutter as he whistled in awe. 

"You two did it. Nice," He says, pulling out parts of a coffee table.

" _Damn_ is it humid!" Raditz exclaimed, tugging on the collar of his shirt. Even Vegeta had unbuttoned down a bit of his dress shirt.

"Psh. You two are supposed to be younger than me, but you're already tired after doing one chore," Bardock laid parts of the table on the floor, then folded and threw the cardboard aside. 

"Here. I need you two to set this up for me. I'm gonna take a piss," Bardock stood up and made his way to the kitchen.

Raditz groaned. He looked towards Vegeta with a sorry look in his eyes.

"Sorry man, I didn't expect my fam to just make us do chores like this. I think I can set this up myself, so you can just chill on the couch,"

Vegeta scoffed. "Don't think I'm some fragile girl Raditz. And if anyone is going to set that up it'll be me. I don't trust any handiwork with you and your two left hands,"

Raditz frowned. "Hey, I bet I can set this up faster than you,"

"You bet?" Vegeta smirked. 

Raditz mirrored the look. "10 bucks that I can set up the left side of the table first,"

"10? What are we, children?" Vegeta scoffed. 

"Okay _rich boy_ , how much are you putting on the table?" Raditz smiled at his own pun.

"50," Vegeta states confidently, and Raditz gaped. 

"50? On a coffee table?" Raditz repeats incredulously.

"You make it sound like you haven't done anything dumber before," Vegeta says.

Raditz sneered. "No, it's not that. It's just that I've realised the stick in your ass isn't shoved that far in after all,"

Vegeta sputtered. "The what?"

"Okay 50 bucks to the first one who sets up their side of the table _321go!_ " Raditz immediately leapt straight for his side.

Vegeta gasped. "Unfair!" He complained, scrambling towards his side as well.

~

Turns out, Raditz really did have two left hands. 

He successfully managed to arrange the table in five different forms without brute forcing a piece, and everytime he exclaimed "DONE," Vegeta's heart would stop.

After the first three times though, Vegeta knew that he would win.

So here he was, helping a salty Raditz fix his side of the table.

"I do not have two left hands," he grumbled.

"Say that to the five pieces of art you made from _one_ side of the table," Vegeta says, his legs crossed on the couch. "Raditz, that piece goes to the left,"

Raditz huffed, securing one part in. "You definitely got the easier side. That's how you won,"

Vegeta scowled at him. "It's a fucking table. What do you mean easier side?"

" _What do you mean easier side,_ " Raditz repeated in a falsetto, head tilting left and right for each syllabus. 

Vegeta growled, throwing the instructions at Raditz's head. Raditz laughed.

"Go figure this out yourself. I'm getting some fresh air," Vegeta says, walking towards the kitchen. 

In the kitchen, Gine was nowhere to be seen, probably tending to Raditz's younger brother. There was a glass sliding door at the back that lead to an unkempt backyard. 

He slid it open, and suddenly he heard someone curse softly around the corner.

Vegeta frowned. He shuts the door behind him and walked out, only to see Bardock standing at a suspicious corner, a lit cigarette in between his fingers. He looked at Vegeta like a deer caught in headlights.

Vegeta quirked a brow. "I won't tell your wife. Or Raditz," he says, crossing his arms.

Bardock sighed, putting the cigarette back between his lips. 

A moment of silence fell between them, before Bardock broke it.

" _Sooo_. You're Raditz's buddy, huh?" 

Vegeta hoped his disgust didn't look too obvious. "You can say that,"

Bardock chuckled, exhaling smoke. "Good. I always thought he'd been poisoned by the city, y'know? He's always mixing with the wrong crowd back then, so I thought it'll get worse in a place like this," 

Bardock stepped closer to Vegeta. He shook his box of cigarettes at him.

"Want one?"

"No. I don't smoke," 

Bardock laughed. "How did my son befriend such a goody two shoes,"

Vegeta frowned. 

"It's not a bad thing," Bardock says. "At least I know he's not going to die in a ditch somewhere if he has someone like you to look out for him," he punched Vegeta lightly on the shoulder.

"I'll leave my stupid brat in your care,"

Vegeta looked at him in surprise. He had learnt a lot more about Raditz than he needed to, and he hoped that Bardock will never know that this was all just a farce Raditz put up to get his parents off his back. 

"Right. Thanks," Vegeta replied.

Just then, Gine called out to the two of them.

"Bardock! Vegeta! Kakarot is up! We can have pizzas now!"

"We're coming!" Bardock shouted back. He slapped Vegeta on the back, causing him to stumble forwards.

"You heard her," Bardock says, snuffing his cigarette out in a pocket ashtray. "Tell her I need sometime to freshen up. I gotta get this smell off me,"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Of course,"

~

Bardock disappeared into the toilet, and Vegeta entered the living room alone.

There, he could smell the savory scent of pizzas, and Gine was busy setting everything up.

Vegeta looked at the 10 large pizzas laid out on the table, couch and even on the floor, all of which were of different flavours. There was even bottles of pepsi here and there with honey roasted drumsticks. He could hardly believe this was for just 5 people.

Vegeta glanced around the room. "Where's Raditz?"

Gine smiled. "He's coming down with Kakarot. He should here soon,"

As if on cue, Raditz rushed down the stairs, looking very excited. 

"Kakarot! Dude! Pizzas are here!"

There was a groan. "Bro, your voice is ringing in my head," 

Raditz immediately slapped a hand on his mouth. "Oop, fuck. Sorry,"

Gine flared up. "Raditz! Language!"

Raditz nodded sheepishly.

Vegeta turned to look up the stairs, curious as to how this Kakarot looked like. Right now he could only imagine a smaller version...of...Raditz...

Vegeta felt like his heart had leapt out his throat.

Wearing a black shirt and loose fitting grey track pants, a man with messy black hair uncannily similar to Bardock's descended down the stairs. Even though he looked absolutely tired, his facial features were still stunning: dark thick brows, round doe eyes, a sharp nose and plush lips. His jawline looked like it could cut steel.

Kakarot made his way over and yawned, hand sneaking under his shirt to scratch his chest, giving Vegeta a sliver of smooth, pale pink skin and hard abs. His shoulders were broader than life and his arms...God his arms...

Fuck, what was with Raditz's family and having 'drop dead gorgeous' in their genes?!

Kakarot blinked at Vegeta, then broke out into a wide smile, making Vegeta believe that he was going to melt on the spot.

"Sup. I'm Kakarot, Raditz's younger bro. It's nice to meet you uh...?"

"Uhh," Vegeta mimicked, his brain still too rattled to act like a human.

" _Uh?_ " Kakarot tilted his head. He laughed, and the sound bubbled in Vegeta's chest. "Your parents named you Uh? Sheesh, you need to give them a good scolding,"

"No, it's uh...my name is..." Vegeta short circuited. So this was the the conscequenses of supressing his sexuality for 30 years. This was what happened when he never tried to date, never tried to get laid, and let his love life wilt in a corner. When prince charming suddenly appears a dam breaks and he would be royally fucked.

Vegeta was a dumbass. He was acting like a complete and utter dumbass. He hasn't even gotten to know this Kakarot guy and he had already blew his chances. This adonis, this man who looked like a manifestation of Vegeta's wet dreams, was never going to be his because he thinks Vegeta is a freak who doesn't know how to-

"He's Vegeta. A friend of mine," Raditz cuts in. He nudged an elbow into Vegeta's ribs, jolting him out of his panic attack.

"Yeah. Vegeta. Coworker," Vegeta says jerkily, extending a hand.

Kakarot shook it and smiled. "Cool,"

Vegeta resisted swooning. Fuck. Kakarot called him cool. What the fuck does that mean? Does that mean he doesn't think Vegeta is a socially disabled gremlin and he still has a chance? Oh shit, oh fuck, he needs to do something. He needs to...

" _Okaay_ ," Raditz exclaimed, breaking him out of his thoughts again. "We have pizzas to attend to,"

He went to grab Vegeta on the shoulder, hard. "Me and Vegeta need to talk for a bit,"

Kakarot stared holes in the pizzas. "Sure, but if you're too late I'll end up eating everything!"

Then, Vegeta was getting dragged into the kitchen.

He was pushed into the centre of the room, facing a rather angry looking Raditz. He had his brows furrowed, arms crossed tightly across his chest.

"Dude. What the fuck," Raditz growled.

Vegeta swallowed. Oh fuck. Was he being too obvious?! 

"What," Vegeta replied, trying to hold his poker face.

Raditz sighed, pinching the middle of his brows. "Do you have something on with my brother?"

Vegeta froze, voice caught in his throat. Well, he's fucked. Now Raditz knows that he's gay, and for his little brother at that. Vegeta thought of the many places he could migrate to to completely avoid this situation. He should probably change his identity too, just to be safe.

"No I fucking don't," Vegeta sputtered, pulling up his last defenses of denial. If Raditz pressed any further he might break down.

"Look. You can hate my guts, you can literally kill me right after this. But could you please, and I'm really fucking begging here, but please, with my brother..."

Vegeta squeezed his eyes shut. Bracing himself for the inevitable.

"Can you not hate him? Or at least not make it so obvious?" 

Vegeta widened his eyes. "Huh?"

"He's...well...he's _special_ ," Raditz continued to explain something that Vegeta had no idea about. "He only acts like that 'cause of me and I fucking hate myself for it. I can tell it irks you, but please don't make him feel like a weirdo, 'kay? I want him to feel normal like us,"

Vegeta was baffled. "What are you talking about?"

Raditz groaned. "He just has some behavioural issues okay? And if you want to hate anyone for it, it should be me," 

He had behavioural issues? Vegeta looked past Raditz to see Kakarot gorging himself on pizzas and talking to a giggling Gine. He seemed completely normal to him.

"Alright. I'll try to mask it better," Vegeta complied, even though he had no idea what Raditz was on about. He would take any excuse to not let Raditz know that he was crushing on Kakarot.

Raditz sighed, but he looked a little hurt. "Don't fuck up. Act natural," he sternly warned.

Vegeta nodded, and the two returned to the pizzas.

Raditz's mood immediately turned when he got close to Kakarot.

"Holy hell, did you eat all the Hawaiian already?!" Raditz gasped. "You know that's my fav you ass!"

Kakarot paused, his mouth full as he lifted a half eaten slice. "I saved one for you?"

Vegeta shut his eyes. Act natural, _act natural._

Raditz made a face. "Nah, all yours. I'll eat the pepperoni,"

Gine frowned. "Raditz, you should let your friend pick first,"

" _Haah?_ But you let Kakarot eat!" 

"Kakarot hadn't eaten the entire trip back. He deserves it,"

Raditz grumbled, sitting on a free spot on the couch. "Fine. Vegeta, what pizza do you want?"

Vegeta was stunned. There was already so much, and Raditz still needed to share? 

"Uh, I'll just take the one with sausages," Vegeta pointed, taking a seat on the floor.

Immediately Raditz and Kakarot deflated. " _Cheese sausage?_ " They pleaded in unison.

Vegeta was reminded of how they were brothers. "Okay, I'll take the vegan one," he compromised. He can't bring himself to fight with two puppy dog eyes anyway.

Raditz and Kakarot hissed a ' _yeees!_ ' then high fived one another.

"Can you pass it over?" Raditz asked. Vegeta rolled his eyes, but did so anyway, and the cheese sausage pizza was torn apart in seconds.

"Has anyone seen Bardock?" Gine asked. 

"He's in the washroom," Vegeta answered, taking a sip of pepsi. 

Gine smiled. "He'd better hurry. The pizzas are disappearing fast,"

"Did someone call me?" Bardock asked, entering the room. He widened his eyes and licked his lips at the sight of the pizzas. 

"Is there my favourite?" He asked, looking over each box.

Immediately, Kakarot and Raditz froze, then lifted half eaten cheese sausage pizzas in hand.

"We saved one for you?" Kakarot noted shyly.

Bardock frowned, lips turning up into an angry smile. "You little shits,"

Gine started to laugh, and it must've been contagious because Vegeta couldn't help but laugh as well. 

Raditz and Kakarot had initially looked at them with stunned expression, before breaking out into fits of laughter as well.

Meanwhile Bardock was left alone to look around in confusion, wondering if the pizzas were somehow spiked.

~

Turns out, the family was ravanous enough to finish all the pizzas. Not even a morsel was left. 

Even Gine had a big part in finishing it. The moment she started gobbling down the pizzas Vegeta had lost his own appetite. 

So here he was, exchanging a few last pleasantries with Raditz's family before Raditz drove him home.

"You're a good kid. I'm hoping Raditz would bring you over more often," Bardock says, smacking Vegeta on the shoulder. "You're always welcomed here," 

Gine had hugged Vegeta, and the other felt too awkward to hug back. She didn't seem to mind. "Tell Raditz to call more often okay? I swear, he's going to end up forgetting us!"

Vegeta looked at Kakarot, and again his throat clamped up and his stomach churned nervously.

Kakarot grinned. "Have a safe trip home," 

Vegeta pursed his lips.

"Vegeta? Done kissing my family goodbye?" Raditz called from his car.

Vegeta blushed, meanwhile Gine and Bardock laughed.

"Screw you," Vegeta says, as he stormed towards the vehicle. Raditz was giggling himself.

As they begun driving off into the night, Vegeta could faintly see Raditz's family wave them goodbye.

Once they disappeared into the horizon, then Vegeta looked back in front. 

He glance over at Raditz, who was looking at him with a smug smile on his face.

"Eyes on the road, idiot," Vegeta instructed, crossing his arms.

Raditz snickered, doing as he's told. "I take it that it wasn't a complete waste of time?"

Vegeta pondered. He got to see Raditz's ridiculously young looking parents. He got to eat pizza. He got to know the handsome angel of a little brother that Raditz had. 

"You're still delivering me lunch,"

Raditz cursed under his breath, but his expression didn't dampen. "But hey, that was the first time I've ever saw you enjoy yourself that much. Hell, I've never seen you laugh until today. I thought my family's overbearing nature would get opposite results,"

Vegeta suddenly felt ashamed. "Your family is...weird. Their mood is contagious,"

Raditz chuckled. "You make it sound like happiness is some sort of disease. Just admit you like my fam,"

"I don't know. You'll need to bring me over to visit more often so I can make a concrete judgement," Vegeta says, hiding his smile under a hand.

Raditz widened his eyes at the statement, before sighing and shaking his head. "Trust me, my ma will never let me visit without you now," he says. "But it was fun. You're actually a pretty cool guy,"

The word cool rang in Vegeta's head, and an image of Kakarot immediately appeared.

He had to go visit for completely different reasons as well.

"I'll take the compliment," Vegeta says, and Raditz huffed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can tell I'm projecting a lot here lol! I'm thirsty for Bardock and there's not enough content of him soooo
> 
> I honestly believe Goku's family would be that one family everyone wants to get adopted in, and honestly I want to get adopted in too 😳
> 
> Feedback will be greatly appreciated! Especially when it comes to fic length and pacing. Personally I feel like dropping 5k each chapter might be too much? And the pace is a little fast...
> 
> Feel free to comment your thoughts below!!! It really helps a lot 💕💕


	2. Avoid at all costs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegeta unknowingly invites a hurricane into his home. 
> 
> Raditz has a secret motive behind an innocent plan.

Vegeta woke up in a start.

Usually, this would be due to a bad dream, or his bladder screaming at him to get up before he did something terrible to his bed.

This time however, he had woken up at 6 in the morning to the sound of his doorbell.

However, it wasn't just a ring or two, his doorbell was ringing incessantly, like crows at a funeral. He was sure that his neighbours were probably pissed by now and he would find a hole in it. 

Vegeta got out of bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He made his way to the living room, then stared at his apartment entrance.

Vegeta didn't remember getting involved with loansharks, neither did he forget to pay his rent. Besides, the landlady was an old, frail woman. If she rang the doorbell this much she would have slipped a disc.

Then, the doorbell sounds changed into loud bangs on the door.

"Hello? Are you dead in there?" An unfamiliar voice called. It sound shrill and strangely British.

Vegeta swallowed. His door didn't have a peephole, so all he could do was open the door and prepare for combat.

So he did, inching over bit by bit, still in his pajamas, his hands slowly reaching for his rattling door. He just needed to open it a little and check who it was.

The moment he unlocked the door with a click, it bursts open, causing Vegeta to jump back and narrowly escape getting concussed by wood.

Shocked and insulted, he glared at whoever had done this. He had expected some burly looking man, or someone that looked like bad news.

Not a walking parade.

The man(?) before him was around his height. He had slicked back lilac hair with shaved white sides. A pair of shades balanced at the bridge of his nose, and his lips were painted dark purple. He wore a large purple fur coat, along with a glittery white crop top and tight leggings. His black boots reached up to his knees and had heavy looking metal straps running across it, securing it in place.

There were luggages behind him, and slung on his shoulder was a small, glamorous sling bag that was perfect to fit a small chihuahua in.

He didn't pay Vegeta's offense any mind, as he stepped into his territory.

Vegeta stepped in front of him. "You can't just barge in like this,"

The guy lifted a brow. "Bitch move," he says, shoving Vegeta aside.

Vegeta could not believe the stranger just did that. 

The man walked to the centre of the living room, and with folded arms he scanned the vicinity.

"I guess it's not _unliveable_. It's definitely leagues better than my last living quarters," he cracked a small grin. "Or more specifically, better than the state I left it in," he cackled to himself, and Vegeta felt his blood run cold.

"I'm going to call the fucking police," Vegeta growled.

The man paid him no mind, walking to the dinner table and pulling out a chair. He sat down, before shrugging his coat off and draping it behind him. He crossed his legs.

"That's no way to greet a guest now, is it?" He says, inspecting his nails. Only then Vegeta realised that they were painted black. 

"A guest? I don't remember inviting the physical embodiment of an identity crisis," Vegeta snapped.

The man glanced at Vegeta, before sighing. With a hand he pulled off his shades and folded them on the table.

He looked back at Vegeta with blood red eyes.

"Don't tell me you forgot," he says, foot tapping impatiently on the ground. "You were the one who allowed me to live here,"

Vegeta was in disbelief. He invited something like this here? Was he tripping on acid? Was this just a fever dream?

"Can you just tell me who the fuck you are?" Vegeta demanded.

The man groaned, as if he was the one who got his house broken into. 

" _Fine_. I wouldn't normally do pleasantries, but if you insist," he pressed a hand to his chest. 

"My name is Frieza Cold. Call me Frieza," he greeted. "And I already know who you are. Vegeta Oji. A friend of a friend of a friend told me,"

Vegeta's blood ran cold. A friend of a friend of a _what?_

When Frieza saw his continued puzzled expression, he murmured an "Oh my God am I talking to a monkey?" And stood up.

He pulled out his phone, which had a hideous golden and purple metallic look to it. He tapped at his device, before turning it and showing it to Vegeta.

Vegeta looked at the screen, and realisation hit him.

A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend had asked him months before if he was open to any roommates. Vegeta's apartment was fairly average sized, fit for two judging by the spare bedroom he had. He had thought that getting a roommate would serve some reprive in his unsociable life, so he agreed to have it open for extra tenants.

His friend(x4) had asked if he wanted to room with a guy named Frieza. He had sent him his details. This man was a fashion designer, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't have any criminal records and most importantly, the one thing that Vegeta had seen that made him agree to housing him was the fact that he was gay.

He was interested in meeting someone who shared the same sexuality as him. He wondered if he had suffered trying to express himself, or if he was just as afraid of coming out as Vegeta was. Maybe finally, Vegeta could find an ally who understood him.

However, all his questions were answered the moment Frieza showed up. He practically wore his sexuality on his body, and definitely was not struggling to do so.

"Judging by your dumb expression, you must have finally got it," Frieza says, shutting off his phone and sliding it back into his bag. "I hate wasting my breath, so let me summarise some ground rules you need to follow,"

Vegeta frowned. Isn't this _his_ apartment?

"Number 1. Don't go into my room, and most definitely do not look through my shit. Number 2. I don't give a fuck about you, so don't bother trying to become friends with me. Number 3. If you bring anybody over to fuck, _I_ will start bringing people over to fuck. The only exception is if I'm not around, but don't try and fuck on my bed, cause I will smell it and I will start having sex here and trust me, my other roommates will tell you that listening to that is worse than going to hell," Frieza says. However, Vegeta's brain was still stuck at the mid point of rule number 3.

Frieza walked over, a finger pointed accusingly at the ceiling. "If by any chance you break any of these rules, I will gather every single man in a mile radius and have a massive orgy in your living room. Capisce?"

Vegeta looked into Frieza's crimson irises. He did not look like he was exhaggerating. So much for gaining an ally.

Vegeta furrowed his brows. He wasn't going to let some prissy asshole boss him around in his house. "Look here Frieza, if anyone is going to follow ground rules, it'll be you," he says, poking him on the shoulder.

Frieza looked away, totally unbothered.

"I can kick you out anytime I want, and right now you're making it easier than it has to be," 

Frieza shot him an unamused look. "So? You have a problem with my rules? Don't tell me, are you some sort of sex fanatic?" he eyed Vegeta up and down. "You certainly don't look the part," 

Vegeta glowered. "It's none of your business, you walking popsicle. In fact, your rules are fine. It's just you. By just entering here, you've already broken 15 of my rules,"

Frieza smirked. "Oh really? Pray tell, what are those _15_ rules you speak of?" 

Vegeta scoffed. "1. Anyone named _Freezer_ shouldn't exist. 2. Anyone who breaks the first rule should have their teeth kicked in. The other 13 rules are just different variations of the second,"

Frieza's shit eating grin fell. "Well that's unfortunate. You must've misheard. My name is Frieza,"

"Exactly. Freezer," Vegeta states.

The duo bared their teeth at one another, a tense atmosphere settling in the apartment. It hasn't even been a few minutes and Vegeta was swearing to never open his doors to roommates again.

Frieza was the first to scoff, then moved to the table to put his sunglasses back on. 

"I do not wish to waste my time on such trivial matters. You're stuck with me for a year and that's final," Frieza states, making his way to the front door.

"What's stopping me from kicking your ass out now?" Vegeta questioned.

Frieza dragged in two luggages. "I've already paid a year in advance," he says, pausing in the living room. "Unless you can drop a year's worth of rent in front of me, I will be staying,"

Vegeta clicked his tongue. He hated that Frieza made sense.

"...fine," Vegeta begrudgingly agreed. "We'll play by your rules. 1 year, then you need to get the fuck out,"

Frieza cackled. "As if I'd want to stay here longer than I need to. Trust me, once I find some place better than this hell hole I'll be out of your fur,"

As Frieza started to wander around, dread slowly crept under Vegeta's skin. He used to think that time flew too fast for his liking, but now that someone like Frieza had forcefully barged into his life, he wanted nothing more than to instantaneously age a year. 

This year was going to hone his levels of patience like never before. Vegeta was either going to make it and ascend to become a God of tolerance, or he was going to have a murder case in his hands.

Vegeta can only pray for the former to happen.

~

Vegeta was typing away in his office desk. He felt unfocused and clumsy with his work, which was evident by how he kept finding new mistakes in his write up every time he checked it.

Vegeta paused, letting his eyes rest from starting at black wording all day. He knew exactly why his usual efficiency had detoriated this much. 

This was day number 2 of living with Frieza.

He had never thought that his apartment was small before, but now with that menace living with him, that realisation hit him like a truck.

His cabinets were occupied by wine and other items Frieza couldn't fit in his room. When Frieza took the couch, he would occupy the entire thing, spreading his legs out like some cat as he talked obnoxiously to his phone. 

Vegeta's entire routine was also messed up by Frieza. Frieza's job involved him staying at home for the majority of the time or going out at irregular periods. That meant alarms ringing at odd timings in the night.

Making any eye contact with Frieza was like staring at a devil. He even deliberately avoided bumping into him in hopes of not needing to exchange words with him.

Then, there was that one particular event in the shower...

Vegeta was having a nice warm shower, when suddenly the sliding door rattled.

"Are you nearly done?! I need to use the washroom pronto!" Frieza's rushed voice came from the other side.

Vegeta clicked his tongue. "I just entered!"

There was a long groan, and Vegeta huffed, turning back to the showerhead.

Then suddenly, the door clicked and slid open.

Vegeta shrieked, covering his privates with both his hands and pressed his back on the wall.

Frieza marched in, not even sparing a look at Vegeta as he took out his shaving cream and a razor like this was the most normal thing to do.

"What the fuck?! How did you-"

"Trust me, locks mean nothing when I have a hairpin," Frieza says, slathering his leg with cream.

Vegeta could barely fathom the implications and potential threat Frieza had just confessed to being.

"Get the fuck out!" He screamed.

"Oh don't be such a bitch. It's your fault for taking too long," Frieza ran his razor down his leg. "Besides, I have a meeting in an hour and I need to be absolutely ready for it,"

Vegeta wanted to march over and punch Frieza, but he felt way too vulnerable and exposed. "I don't give a shit! I prefer to shower without you around!"

Frieza rolled his eyes. "It's about me being gay, isn't it? Don't worry, if the entire population died and it was just me and you, I'd rather fuck magma," 

Vegeta was baffled. "It has nothing to do with you being gay and everything to do with personal space!"

Frieza winced at Vegeta's grating voice in his ear. "Stop shouting already, your fragile masculinity is hurting my ears. I swear on my grave that I'd never touch your chasisty with a ten foot pole,"

Vegeta smacked his head back onto the tiled wall. Of course, Frieza didn't know that Vegeta was also gay, but he sure as hell was not going to tell him.

In the end, Vegeta made no move to continue his shower, staring holes at Frieza as he finished shaving his other leg, washed all his DNA off then skipped out the shower.

He had left the door open, making Vegeta shout "Close the fucking door you pervert!" but to no avail. Vegeta had to walk and shut it himself, not that it really helped anything, now that he learnt that Frieza could fucking pick locks.

...Vegeta groaned, the mere memory of that sending waves of headaches. He pressed the heels of his palms into his forehead. 

At least Frieza cleaned up after himself and basically ignored Vegeta's entire existence, but that was the bare minimum.

If only he could invent a time machine and skip a year ahead, so he wouldn't need to endure this grueling torment any longer.

Just then, a shadow loomed over him. 

Vegeta looked up, and saw a familiar scruffy looking man.

"Sup Vedge," Raditz says, placing down his promised lunch on his desk. "What's up man? You don't look too hot," 

Vegeta sighed, pulling out his leather wallet. "For the third time Raditz. Don't call me that," he passed Raditz his exact payment, and the other grabbed it and stuffed it in his pocket. "And it's none of your concern,"

"Hm. Whatever you say. So uh, there's something I wanted to talk to you about," Raditz added.

Vegeta took out the lunch from the plastic and poked out his chopsticks. "Which is?"

"Are you free this weekend?" Raditz asks excitedly.

Vegeta frowned. "And if I said no?"

"Then I'd call bullshit because I checked your work schedule, and I don't remember you having any friends," Raditz pointed at Vegeta accusingly.

Vegeta growled, picking up a bit of rice and meat and stuffing it into his mouth. "What is it this time,"

Raditz grinned. "I need you to go out with me!" 

Vegeta spat out his food and begun choking on his saliva. 

"...and my younger brother," Raditz added. "You okay?" 

Vegeta waved a hand dismissively. "F-fine! Completely - _ugh_ \- fine,"

"My bro wants me to take him around town, but it's been a while since we've talked face to face, y'know? I don't want this to be awkward, so I figured a third guy might help!" 

Vegeta hit himself in the chest a couple of times before he could speak. "So you want _me_ to not make it awkward? Raditz, have you gotten your eyes checked?"

"Oh come on, you got on along pretty well with my fam. This will just be a small scaled repeat of that," Raditz persuaded.

"I refuse," Vegeta quickly said. He much rather not tell Raditz that being alone with him and his hot brother would open a whole new can of worms.

Raditz pouted, clapping his hands in a prayer. "Please~? Just for me? And my poor brother? I bet he would love to hang out with you again,"

Vegeta hardened his resolve. "Absolutely not, and that's final. Ask one of your goons to do it instead,"

Raditz frowned. "Okay, what if I bought you lunch for another week?" 

Vegeta gave him a deadpanned look. Something about his persistence seemed odd. He refused to believe that Raditz could ever feel awkward with anyone, unless that someone purposely wanted it to be - _ie. Vegeta_ \- much less his own brother.

So Vegeta questioned him. "Why are you being this desperate? There's some sort of catch, is there?" 

Immediately Raditz froze, and Vegeta knew he hit the bullseye.

"Uh, of course not! My intentions are pure! I swear," Raditz let out a nervous laugh.

Vegeta quirked a brow, and Raditz looked away, pursing his lips.

The tense silence continued for a few more seconds, before Vegeta sighed. 

"When will this be?"

"On Saturday! From 9am to 10pm,"

Vegeta made a noise of disbelief. "You're going to go out for more than half a day?!"

Raditz tilted his head. "Yeah? I do that all the time,"

Vegeta groaned. He forgot that Raditz, despite being the same age as him, had the social battery of a power plant.

Then suddenly, something struck him. He'd be out the whole day. This meant that he would be spending less time inside, which means less time around Frieza.

Even though his rational side screamed at him that this would be a bad idea, spending a whole day with your crush and his older brother was a disaster waiting to happen, a small part him wanted to see Kakarot again, and this would probably his one chance to do so. 

Life is giving him a second chance at romance dammit, and he was sure that after knowing Kakarot existed, his standards had undoubtedly sky rocketed, and no one in the world would probably appeal to him ever again.

So Vegeta, despite every fibre of his being warning him about everything that could go wrong, begrudgingly agreed to this... _date_.

"Fine, I'll do it, but don't be surprised if I bail out halfway. I don't have as much energy as you do," Vegeta says.

Raditz grinned. "That's fine by me! I'll text you the meeting spot tonight," with that, he turned and made a move to leave.

"Wait wait wait," Vegeta called, and Raditz turned to blink at him. "So what are the plans?" Vegeta asks.

Raditz tilted his head. "Plans?"

"Plans for what we will be doing?" When Raditz's confused expression remained, Vegeta sputtered.

"So you want to spend a whole day outside, and you don't even have a plan on what to do?!"

Raditz scratched his head. "I've never needed to? We can stroll around and do whatever looks interesting,"

Vegeta slapped his forehead, then glared at Raditz. "With _me,_ we aren't going to just wing it. We are coming up with a plan, _now_ ,"

Raditz looked a little conflicted, before walking over. He muttered a "Why do we need to do this..." as he pushed away the paperwork Vegeta had on his desk, then sat on the cleared space.

Vegeta looked at his mistreated work, then craned his neck up. He frowned at him. 

"Raditz. Get a chair," 

Raditz looked to the neighboring desk, then reached out to it. 

"But it's so far away," he whined. 

"Get the chair, or I'll kick you onto it," Vegeta growled. His neck was starting to cramp up.

Raditz groaned obnoxiously, before jumping off and dragging his feet to the chair. He sat on it the wrong way, then rolled over to Vegeta.

" _Now_ can we do this?" Raditz asked, leaning his chin on the backrest of the chair. 

"Yes," Vegeta answered pointedly. He pulled out his phone, tapping on a note taking app.

He started to list down timings with an hour's interval between.

"Do you have any ideas in mind?" Vegeta asked.

Raditz hummed, "I was thinkin' we have breakfast first,"

"Okay-"

"At MacDonalds,"

"NO!" 

Raditz furrowed his brows. "What? What's wrong with Mac?"

Vegeta pinched his brows. "Your brother's first trip around town, and you make him eat at a fast food chain,"

"He likes Mac! I like Mac,"

"Well _I_ don't! This is hardly the way to introduce him to the city," Vegeta switched his app to a search browser and started to type out names of cafés. "Is your brother a coffee, or tea person?"

"Tea. Definitely,"

"Is he more of a sweets, or savory guy,"

"Anything honestly, as long as it's not bitter, but he has a monster appetite,"

 _'I know, I've seen it first person,'_ Vegeta thought. He'd need to find a place that served large portions of food.

Then, something struck him.

He looked to Raditz, a brilliant idea ringing in his head.

"He has a huge appetite,"

Raditz quirked a brow. "Uh...yeah?"

"You have a huge appetite,"

"...yeah? Vegeta, you're kinda creeping-"

"We can do a food expo!" 

It took some time for Raditz to process that. 

"Oh! Like we travel around and eat all sorts of food?" 

"Yes!"

Raditz beamed. "Oh fuck! That's genius!"

Vegeta smirked. " _This_ is why I plan," 

Raditz scooted closer, a wide grin on his face as he stared at Vegeta's phone screen. He was currently typing out a concrete plan, and listed down a line of cuisines they could try.

Raditz offered some suggestions, even new takeout shops Vegeta had never heard of before. 

After a while of back and forth, bouncing names of various eateries between each other, Vegeta quickly concluded the food expo plan.

"We can't spend the whole day eating," Vegeta noted, scrolling through their full day plan.

Raditz had moved to sit properly on his chair, arms folded on Vegeta's desk, head laying on top of them. "Why not?"

"This place isn't only about food," Vegeta says. "There should be something else to spice things up,"

Raditz buried his head in his arms and pondered. Vegeta wondered if he could even breathe with that huge mop of hair over him.

Then, his head popped up. 

"I know! There's a street carnival around the area!" He says excitedly.

"A carnival? Here?" Vegeta was in disbelief. "What's the occasion?"

Raditz shrugged. "It's super packed in the evening. There's so many random shit you can do there! Like sculpting, prawning, painting, and I think there's even a place where you can buy second hand stuff..."

Vegeta grumbled, typing out 'carnival' in his notes. "I'll trust that you know what you're talking about," 

When Vegeta stopped typing, Raditz pulled the phone out his hands, causing Vegeta make a noise of protest.

"Lemme see..." Raditz murmured, shifting the phone away when Vegeta tried to grab it back. "Relax, I'm just checkin' what's the plan so far. Your browser history is safe,"

Vegeta made a choked noise. "I do _not_ have an incriminating search history!"

Raditz smirked. "Now that you say that, it makes me want to check," 

Vegeta's hand lunged forward, digging his blunt nails on Raditz's arm. "Don't you fucking dare," he seethed.

Raditz laughed. "I won't! I won't!" Vegeta only gripped tighter. "Ow ow ow _okay_ it's starting to hurt! _You're hurting me!_ " 

When he let go, Raditz pouted, rubbing the crescent welts in his arm while Vegeta glared daggers at him.

The larger got back to the phone. "Hm. That just leaves 8 to 10. What are we going to do at night?" Raditz asked, passing Vegeta his phone.

Vegeta snatched it back. "I have an idea in mind, but it'll be a surprise," 

Raditz's eyes sparkled with interest. "A surprise? What is it?" 

Vegeta frowned. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise,"

"But isn't this for my bro? So you can tell me!"

"I for one do not trust you with any secrets," Vegeta states. "You'll know when the time comes," 

Raditz deflated, chin resting on the table. " _Booo_ , wet towel, spoil sport, sourpuss, gremli-"

Vegeta raised his phone to feint a hit, and Raditz jumped back, laughing like an overgrown child.

"I'll tie up any loose ends in our plan and send them to you tonight," Vegeta grumbled. "You don't need to memorise it, I will. You just need to bring us to that carnival,"

Raditz grinned. "Thanks Vedge! I really owe ya one!"

And before Vegeta could correct him again, Raditz had skipped back to his desk.

~

Today was yet another taxing day in the office, though as much as Vegeta would hate to admit, his little conversation with Raditz did offer some sort of reprive. 

Unfortunately, that short moment could not prepare Vegeta for his apartment, where an inevitable pain in the ass was going to happen.

Turns out, today he didn't even need to see Frieza to feel unwelcomed in his own home. The moment he placed his hand on the doorknob, there was a loud crash that echoed from inside, followed by a string of curses.

Alarmed, Vegeta scrambled with his keys, unlocked the door and burst into his home, and his jaw dropped at the state it was in.

Fabric hung on every available surface, balls of thread were strewn across the floor, clips of all colours were messily splayed out on the couch and table. In the middle of his ruined living room, there was a mannequin with bunches of fabric pinned and folded on it.

Vegeta stared at the mess, feeling as if Frieza had somehow crashed a truck of rainbow frosting in his house. 

Speaking of the devil, Frieza was currently picking up square pieces of fabrics on the floor and placing them back into a plastic box. He had dark rings under his eyes, his face was devoid of makeup for once - _why would Frieza even wear makeup indoors was beyond Vegeta but he didn't care enough to ask_ \- and his hair was messily pulled into a bun.

He had a pencil and marker hooked behind his ear, and he was still in his sleepwear.

"Frieza, what the fuck," Vegeta started. When Frieza didn't answer, probably too busy picking up whatever he had sprayed on the floor, Vegeta repeated himself.

"FRIEZA, WHAT THE FUCK?"

"CAN YOU SHUT UP?!" Came a louder, harsher reply.

Vegeta gaped, taken aback by the absolute disrespect of this man. "It's only been 7 hours! How the fuck did you do all this?!" He gestured wildly at the surroundings.

"7 hours, 28 minutes, 47 seconds..." Frieza corrected. "...of me stressing the fuck out because my deadline is just ONE FUCKING WEEK AWAY!" He haphazardly shuts the plastic box and slapped it back where it was before: perched dangerously on a corner of a full table.

He went back to the mannequin and pulled out a large pair of scissors from his pocket. "So, if you don't mind, I'd like you to kindly wallow in your room and leave me in peace, before I STAB A BITCH," He enforced his threat by pointing the blade at Vegeta, and he flinched.

Red flashed in front of Vegeta's eyes. "News flash _Frieza_ , I don't give a shit! I'm fucking tired as well and now I have to deal with _this_ mess!"

"I need to do this for a living you insensitive fuck! It'll be cleaned after my deadline!" Frieza's hands started working on the mannequin in ways that Vegeta could not comprehend.

"A-after? I have to deal with this for a fucking WEEK?!"

"YES! Now suck it up!" 

"I'm going to fucking deck you, you damn-!"

Suddenly, someone touched Vegeta on the shoulder, and in a fit of rage he sharply turned and knocked whoever that was stupid enough to do that with his elbow.

A sound of choking came behind Vegeta, as a man clutched his stomach, slowly falling to his knees. When Vegeta finally got his head out of thunderclouds he realised that this man was his neighbour.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry," Vegeta says in a toned down voice. He knelt next to the man and helped him up. 

The guy groaned in pain. "I was just...checking if everything was...alright,"

Vegeta turned to glare at Frieza, who flipped him off in return. 

Vegeta turned back to the man with a forced smile on his face. "Everything is fine, we're just...in _disagreement_ about something,"

The man didn't look convinced, but after getting the air punched out of him he didn't have the strength to push. "Okay, then would you two mind keeping the shouting to a minimum?"

"We will. Sorry again," Vegeta says. The man nodded, then limped his way next door.

When he disappeared, Vegeta's blood boiled. He marched inside and slammed the door behind him.

"Wow Vegeta, what a terribly discreet way to close the door. Might as well burn the entire building down while you're at it," Frieza mocked.

Vegeta's chest rose, ready to start another shouting match, when he stopped himself. He stood in place, head lowered as he took a deep breath in, then exhaled loudly.

"Listen here you little shit," Vegeta hissed, dropping his bag and making a beeline to Frieza. "You better clean this place up by tomorrow, then find some other place you can bust a barrel of confetti in. Or else I'll actually burn this-"

Something sharp pierced the bottom of Vegeta's foot, and he shrieked, falling back onto the floor.

Frieza looked over his mannequin, before supressing a laugh. "Oh! So that's where I put the pin cushion!"

Vegeta grit his teeth, pulling out a cushion stabbed with needles out his foot. Slowly, beads of red started to appear.

"You _motherfucker_ ," Vegeta snarled. He made a move to stand, but didn't put his bloody foot down in fear of staining the carpet.

"Oh right, mind repeating what you said earlier?" Frieza taunts, moving towards the couch as he begun comparing fabrics. "You were saying something moronic before my needles burst your bubble,"

Vegeta clenched his jaw, and threw the cushion at Frieza. He caught it effortlessly with a hand and placed it on the couch.

"Clean. All. This. Shit. NOW," Vegeta warned.

"Next fucking week Vegeta! Or is the English language incomprehensible for an ape like you?"

"Find some other place to fuck up!"

"If you haven't noticed, I've already started!"

Vegeta groaned a crescendo, before he limped towards the shower. His first aid kit was stored under the sink. Frieza was not going to take him seriously like this. He also needed something to occupy his racing, heated mind before he did something he would regret.

The entire trip there felt like an obstacle course. There was silk on the floor, threads interwoven with other threads like webs, and if Vegeta dared to step on them it would trigger an avalanche of materials onto him. 

All this, and Vegeta had only one foot to rely on.

Thankfully, he was agile enough to avoid any possible deaths via sewing materials and reached the shower. It felt so much more spacious than it actually was.

The whole time he was cursing Frieza's name and his stupid life choices under his breath. He was starting to look forward to that whole trip outside if it meant not dealing with Frieza's shit. Hell, he'd stay in a hotel for a year if he could.

He's going to start counting his days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked my take on Frieza! Here he's a flaming homosexual who doesn't give a shit about anything lmao!
> 
> Also, next chapter I'm finally going to build on Goku 😭 right now he's pretty one dimensional so y'all can look forward to that and more Vegeta closet gay shienanigans
> 
> See y'all next Sat!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback will be greatly appreciated! Especially when it comes to fic length and pacing. Personally I feel like dropping 5k each chapter might be too much? And the pace is a little fast...
> 
> Feel free to comment your thoughts below!!! It really helps a lot 💕💕


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